I Found the Love of My Life.

It was me… I am that love.

Have you ever found yourself looking for that moment where it felt like “you’re the perfect verse over a tight beat?” What voice, what feeling, what touch accompanied that moment? Between the romantic comedies that are binge-watch with a blanket and a snack worthy and all the life experiences that provide the framework in your subconscious mind, you probably have a textbook definition of love with multiple entries. With no clear definition of love, mismanaged expectations develop some rather complicated situations. Have you been there?

Perhaps someone has said to you, “You need to love yourself before you try to love somebody else.” The inward conversation ensues… “I do love myself…Wait, I think I love me…Of course I do! But if I did, would I tolerate this? Would I allow myself to think that about me? If I love me, why am I still dealing with forgiving myself? Can I love myself but not believe in myself? How is it that I can love others, but I don’t know how to truly love myself? What is love anyway?”

Love is a mature decision to have and show compassion and care regardless of the other person’s actions or feelings towards you. This understanding guides you into seeing that love is more than just a feeling. It is the most powerful emotion, greater than hope and faith. There is no greater evidence of this than God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. So how then do you have self-love? Especially when you may have never been taught what it is, and all the many influences around you suggest otherwise? Decide to choose Him, because God is love. By choosing Him, you allow Him to come into your heart, the deep layers of your mind, and remove anything that is not of Him. Only God can show you why you think, feel or act the way that you do. He’ll whisper it to you while you are driving, ironing clothes or in the shower. God also gives you glimpses of who you really are- not the person you feel like at some given moment or who you see yourself as in comparison to someone else, but His truth about you.

Becoming that truth is the journey of self-love. It is a process of decision-making that puts a halt to the drifting brought on by life circumstances, creating the conditions that you want. Self-love requires hope and faith – hope to believe that God’s truth about you is real and faith to persistently pursue it. On the surface, self-love may look like taking a long drive, dating yourself, doing your favorite hobby, tackling your finances responsibly, cleaning your home, removing yourself from non-serving relationships, humbling yourself to learn from someone else, etc. These things in themselves do not define self-love, but they provide a space for you to think for yourself and make decisions that benefit you, decisions that help you become your truth, the love of your life – you.